i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake


i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

  • Arvo: Fuck you.
  • Kenny: What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little shitbird? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the National Fisherman Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on urban terrorist groups, and I have over 300 fixed-up boats. I am trained in sea warfare and I’m the top truck driver in the entire state of Florida. You are nothing to me but just another commie piece of shit. I will wipe you the fuck out with boat artillery the likes of which has never been seen before in all of America, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me, you little Carver-worshipper? Think again, shitbird. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Clementines across Georgia and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the boats, shitbird. The boats that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, Arvo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my urban friend Lee's powers. Not only am I extensively trained in urban combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Wellington, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of America, you little shitbird. If only you could have known what unholy boat hell your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn commie. I will beat the hell out of you and break your glasses. You’re fucking dead, Arvo.

People only tell lies when there is something they are terribly frightened of losing.
Orhan Pamuk, The Museum of Innocence (via quotes-shape-us)